Once in a land, far to the south, their was a mortal. Not any mortal mind you but a curmudgeonly mortal, the type you love to have around, but sometimes?
Any way, this mortal would do wondrous things, he could sing songs and dance and make people laugh, he could woo the women folk, he was just a good all around person.

One day, he was walking in the woods and stumbled upon a cave, HMMMMMMMM he said, I wonder what might be inside, he hesitated and them walked away, (I told you he was curmudgeonly).
This went on for days, then those days turned into weeks, then those weeks turned into months, finally, this mortal dared to enter the cave.

The entrance was dark and foreboding, a dank smell emanated from the bowels of the cave. He hesitated, turned, and almost walked out, but he didnt.
A few steps further, deeper into the unknown the mortal went, deeper into the cave, deeper into the unknown.
What lay ahead, what was in this cave, why was it here, now, in his path, in his life? Questions, which soon, would be answered.

Deeper into the cave he went, until when he stopped and turned around, he could not see the entrance, fear gripped his soul, for he did not know which way he came, or which way to go. Suddenly a foul stench, unlike anything he had ever smelled, permeated the air.
A rank, dismal, foul, cantankerous odor, unlike anything he had ever smelled, almost inhuman like.
A smell, which would and should, have killed any mortal. Tears rolled down his face, he coughed uncontrollably, clutching his throat in agony, this was unbearable, but he knew not which way to run, so he sat.

Soon, the stench went away, the air cleared and our mortal could start to see through his own tears. It was dark, cold and foreboding, what lie ahead for our mortal friend, only time would tell.

What was down in the bowels of the cave, what could cause such a foul stench?

Our mortal forged ahead, down into the depths, down into the darkness, down into the abyss. Walking, every footfall making a sharp tink noise on the wet stone beneath his feet, walking ever downward, towards his destiny.

All at once, a light, a glimmer in the dark, then movement, something moved, something passed, something is here.

A large hulking shadow, moved from within the darkness, entering the shafts of light.
A huge, lumbering creature, no discernable features, the shadows obscure them.
What could it be? Fear gripped our mortal, for he knew not what it was, or even what it could be.
He had never seen anything like this creature before.
All at once the creature emerged from the shadows, on its haunches; it stood over seven feet tall.
Sinewy muscles, furry extremities, cold breath emanating from his nostrils, stringy fur which resembled hair, protruded from its head.
The mortal had never seen anything like it before and hoped never to see anything like it again. It moved forward, towards the mortal, he froze in his tracks, gripped by fear, he thought, I am going to die!

The creature spoke, Who are you and why are you here, mortal. The Mortal Replied: I saw the cave and wandered in, it took me almost a year to get up the courage to wander in and now I am face to face with you, I dont need to say, that I am rather wishing I did not enter this cave at all.

The creature let out a great belch, the sound resounded through out the cave, the smell was nauseating, but nothing compared to the original smell in the cave.
The creature laughed heartily and then spoke: I am the Great Gumba, Immortal, Warrior, lover of wenches, I hate stupidity and stupid people, I hope you are not a stupid mortal.
I protect those who cannot protect themselves, especially small, cute, furry, creatures.
But that is at the bequest of the Otter Queen, Never mind about that now.
So I ask again Mortal, who or what are you?

The mortal spoke: I am Lord Complo, a curmudgeonly human, I live a simple life here in the woods. I do nothing except what I want, when I want. That is whom I am sir.

The Great Gumba looked at Lord Complo, he looked and he thought, What am I going to do now?